Responses to cultural family views

In battles within the church on what it means to be a godly family, husband, wife, father, and wife, etc., more often than not you have different cultural views vying and setting blows for supremacy. Issues of the family are close to the heart and our views are developed within the culture we were raised in. Our views are often ingrained in us and it can be hard to separate truth from fiction, culture from scripture.

Many responses (fortunately not all) I read or hear about on family issues are not objective writings  or thoughts exploring the heart of God in these matters. On all sides of the issue, preferences suddenly become commands and wise and objectively good things are foolishly rejected out of fear for legalism. All in an interest to defend our little kingdoms. Both are equally foolish and sinful. We love promoting our culture or kingdoms. We might claim a view is pharisaical and extra-biblical only to fail to realize that our views are just also another cultural response from another end and we are just as pharisaical and extra-biblical, if not more so, then we are claiming the other perspective is. It is not about defending the scripture, it is about defending what I think is true. We are insane. It is easier to defend one’s cultural views, then it is to live in the Gospel and submit to scripture. For the scripture is always challenging us, pointing out our sinfulness, and putting to death our culture views and working to replace them with the Kingdom of God. 

It is rare to see people actually lovingly and honestly listening and trying to understand the other person’s perspective. And there is some good stuff out there on the scriptural view of the family if people would take the time to really listen and get to know what the view is. Often it is just rejected outright because it doesn’t fit our culture. And if it doesn’t fit our culture it must be wrong. It is much easier to create a straw man, then it is to listen. It is easier to attack then it is to love. It is easier to defend ones kingdom and ones views, instead of being open minded and exploring the depths and wonders of the scriptures on these matters.


Being open minded requires death. The scripture is very clear on that matter. In order to understand the depths of God’s wisdom and beauty, we must continually lay our bodies down as living sacrifices and not be conformed to the wisdom of this world. Because we are born in sin and are raised in a culture of sin often the truths we fight for are either only partial truths or not truth at all. We naively fight for the kingdom of this world, because it is the one we have known or have grown to love. It is one that we feel comfortable with. And we have learned to defend or comfort zone well. In Christ, a new Kingdom has come, one that is vastly different from the kingdom of this world or any of the thoughts of men. His ways are not our ways. They don't fit any cultural phenomena that we have known or can conceive. But as we diligently lay our lives down and allow the scriptures to wash over us, we will come to know this Kingdom more and more. We will be gripped by its wonder and beauty and we will realize that we are not called to the wisdom of this world, but to something that shakes and shatters the very foundation of this world and is meant to only leave those things found in Christ. This is also the attractiveness of this Kingdom. There is no greater beauty than Christ. 

If we want to understand what the scriptures say about family issues, we must leave our cultural perspectives on the altar. Stop holding on to and defending your culture perspective, even in areas where we are right. In defending them our hunger for God is diminished. Our cultural perspectives don’t fit in the Kingdom of God. Even when they our correct, they are way too small, we must still die to ourselves. Allow the scriptures to do their work, to wash over us. We will spend a lifetime grasping the depths, height, and width of God’s perspective on these matters. And these heights and depths, and widths are ok to explore. And they ought to be explored. Because of the Gospel, we don’t need to be afraid to explore these things.