A Statement of Trust in God's Heart for Our Relationship

A Statement of Trust in God’s Heart for Our Relationship

1.    Intimacy with I am, Emanuel, that we might hear His Voice, cling to Him, and walk with Him in our relationship.  (Ps 41:10, Deut 30, Micah 6:8, Ps. 87:7. Deut. 6:5, John 17:3, Phil. 3:8-11, Matt. 6:33, Ps 63:8)

2.    To live fully and enjoy the abundance of God. To lay our relationship at Jesus’ feet and in complete trust, surrendering all to Him. (Psalm 23; Rom. 12:1,2;  Heb. 12:1,2; Phil 3:12; Acts 20:24)

3.    We will find our answer on our knees. (Our time with the Lord is a priority)

4.    Allow God as our Father to oversee our relationship, to council and advise us, to protect us, and determine the direction of our relationship. (Ps. 19:14, Ps.25:21, Ps 23:3)

5.    To let the Word be uncaged and to rule and reign in our relationship, being living and active and penetrating it and our lives and our hearts.  (Isaiah 66:2,  John 5:39, Ps. 37:31, Ps. 25:4,5, John 16:13, Titus 1.9, Col. 1:9, Jer. 33:2.3, I Thess. 5:21,22. 2 Tim. 1:7,  James l:25, Ps.26:2,3, Ps.119: 105,  John l5:10, John l4:23, Col.3:16, Joshua 1:7-9, 2 Tim 4:2, Rom 15:4)

6.    We will place our relationship under the care of the church, living in community, and yielding to and being accountable to those that God has placed over us.  (Pr. 15:22, Heb. 10:25, Heb13:17)

7.    We will honor our parents and older couples as is fitting in the Lord, not just passively, but actively engaging to honor them and make them a part of this relationship (Deut 5:16)

8.    May God, work in our relationship, in wisdom and grace, that we can be an example to others. Let us set an example of godly male and female roles and honor one another by living in these roles. (1 Pet 2:12, Titus 2:7)

9.    We will pursue to encourage each other in the Lord’s calling on each other’s life, honoring each other, and encouraging each other to pursue Christ above all else.

10.    May God develop our hearts and allow us to minister together as friends, purposely praying for and ministering to others together.

11.    To seek righteousness and purity in the way we think, speak and act towards one another. (Matt. 5:6,8, Eph 5:3) We will protect and save our hearts for our spouses, not giving them to one another, unless the Lord has called us to be married.  (2 Corinthians 11:2, Proverbs 20:6, Song of Solomon 2:7, 8:4, Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 31:3) We will not defraud each other physically or emotionally, but will honor one another as the Father’s.  (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, Matthew 5:27-30, 1 Timothy 5:2, Proverbs 5:2, Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 19:4-6, 1Corinthians 16:14)

12.    May He teach us to enjoy getting to know one other and enable us to be honest with one another about who we are. May God teach us to develop a deep friendship, as brother and sister, which honors, encourages, and protects the other. May God teach us to walk in patience with one another as God reveals places in our hearts where he wants to bring His truth, conviction, repentance and healing. And may God teach us to have fun in this journey.  (Col 1:28,29, Ps. 139:23-24)

13.    Our pursuit is the Lord and His will. Success is following after God and His heart, honoring Him.  We will seek God for if He would have us marry, and follow Him either into engagement or back into friendship.  May God watch over us allowing us to end our courtship, be it in engagement or as friends, having honored one another and Him in such a way that we have no regrets. (Is. 30:21, Rom. 12:10)

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

I wrote earlier on the need for men to be brothers, men who will honor women in the Lord, not just look for a wife. Brothers must be men who protect and encourage the women around them. However, this responsibility is not the major domain of brothers. Instead most of the weight of encouraging and protecting women fall on fathers and mothers. As brothers, we encourage and protect our sisters under the covering of older men and women. More than needing brothers, women need fathers and mothers to be their protectors and encouragers. As brothers, we must remember that it is not our job to replace this covering, but to submit to it, and to encourage women to find this. If we point to ourselves to be this, we have failed. I want to encourage the women to find older women, older couples to be a covering for them.


For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

Wait on your knees for the Lord for a husband

I wrote earlier about a man finding a wife on his knees. A woman must wait to give her heart to her husband on her knees as well. I think with all the false ideas it is easy to be swept away by a man who is not a man who will be a safe place for your heart. It is so easy to buy the false claim that charm and beauty will satisfy the deepest longings of our heart.

I think there are men who are emotional and run after a woman with romanticized gestures winning a woman's heart through appearances that fade. I think there are other men who wait on the Lord, refusing to capture a woman's heart through romanticized gestures, but instead seeking to build her up through words and actions that don't fade away. These men are sometimes more romantic, but choose not to win a woman by those means, because they want to protect the women around them to be a safe place. They also want to learn to have healthy relationships with other women and still remain faithful to his wife, even while he is single.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain. Find a man who delights in the Lord.

The purpose of romance is to make a woman feel safe and secure.

If you use romance to impress a woman, you have missed the point. You do not know what romance is. The purpose of romance is to make her feel safe and secure. In order to be romantic, you have to be that kind of man.

Wrapped in Your Arms - Fireflight

“Beauty in my arms”

I watch as the leaves flew up;
I smiled and chased the flury,
Following the path of disheveled leaves.
In a moment, all fell still . . . silence. . .
There she was waiting,
I held her in my arms and we danced . . .

And now I look into her eyes,
She just smiled at me.
How could I have imagined how much our love would grow,
And how much more beautiful she would become?
She is in the distance helping a child,
But we are saying so much to each other without words.
We dance together, as we serve the Lord,
And now when I hold her in my arms . . . it is more.

Don’t be afraid to pursue a woman

Here is a link on some of my thoughts on pursuing a wife: Courting

Dare to Love

Love . . . Let it bring us to our knees.

LORD, in loving others, may I lock the door behind me and throw away the key and commit to never leave. And may You send angels to guard the door. Abba, give me wings of eagles to soar in Your love and renew Your strength in me, so that I might run where young men fail; and love and not grow faint. For Love is not a fight; it is something worth fighting for.




Love is not a place to come and go as we please. It is a house we enter in and commit to never leave.

"I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it."

Saying, "I love you"

There was a little talk, tonight about saying, "I love you" to someone you just started dating. Now, I don't mind saying this to my brothers and sisters in the Lord, but I do believe in a courtship relationship, what I communicate to the girl should reflect my commitment to her; and therefore, I will probably not say these words till I am committed to marriage. In the courtship that I had recently, I found this to be healthy, not just from the perspective of protecting her heart, but also in learning how to communicate with her. I also refused to touch her. It was good. I couldn't just revert to a simple, "I love you" or embrace her. I had to learn to tell her that she was special and that I cared for her in creative and healthy ways. I gained so much. I had to learn to communicate, something that takes work and makes a marriage stronger. Anyways, this something to think about, what do we cultivate in our relationships?

Beautiful Daughters of the King

A few of the men made this for the women in my church this Friday:



Daughters of the King,


(written by Landon Lewis)
For lack of a better word I’ll declare
You blind as you look with unconcerned eyes
At your capturers but are unaware
That they already have you baited and tied.
With images of what is “beautiful”
They have brainwashed you to make you accept
That you are not physically wonderful
Because your look goes against their concept.
But dear lady I ask that you focus
Your eyes on your mirror but first your heart
To see the beauty you have failed to notice
And the outer beauty you had from the start.
If you look and are not able to see,
Open your ears and my words will set you free.


I listened as a man told a story on the radio about himself and his wife on their honeymoon. His wife had just gotten out of the shower in the morning and as she looked at herself in the mirror she began pointing out parts of her that were unattractive. Her husband walked up to her and placed his arms around her and faced her towards himself. He told her that she was insulting his wife; he would not have that. Then he gently said, “Look into my eyes.” She looked into his eyes. It was obvious in his eyes that there was no woman more beautiful. As she looked at him he said, “Let my eyes be your mirror.” . . . He would go on to tell her that throughout their marriage.


After hearing this story, I could hear Christ saying, “Look into my eyes, Let my eyes be your mirror.” I thought about this and I questioned whether or not I wanted this. I don’t want to just be told that I am loved. I want to face my sin. I want to have victory over it. I want a love that is real, not frivolous. Then I thought about Jesus’ gaze, the gaze that penetrates the deepest parts of the heart, leaving nothing unsearched. How it is stern and loving. There is no weakness to His love. He doesn’t lightly say, “I love you.” I realized that when Jesus says, “Look into my eyes”, His gaze not only searches the inmost being, but it also purifies the deepest sin.


There she stood clothed, yet naked
Before Him who looked into her
heart.
Fire and judgment stirred relentlessly
And searched . . .

She looked into His eyes and saw
severity
He did not penetrate her heart purposelessly
But was determined

She could no longer stand and fell . . .

His arms wrapped around her and
He held her close
“My child, my child, come close”

She looked into His eyes once again
And was consumed by His love.
And, and . . .
Amazed by the beauty He saw.
And yet His gaze had not changed.


As we look into His eyes, we see such great love, as He holds us in His arms and tells us that we are lovely. How could this be? A gaze so piercing and yet it contains such an enravished and gentle love, one drop being more than all the poems could contain. One drop bringing healing to our hurting heart. Such a love that makes you forget about yourself and abandon all as you are enraptured in romance of the Beloved. Now, all that matters is being with Him. Romance is at the heart of sanctification and holiness.


So let us, look into His eyes and let Him be our mirror. “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” This is not a gaze into our idea or concept of who Jesus is. But it is the gaze of a broken and contrite heart that trembles at God’s word and allows His truth to run wild and rule as a lion, without compromise. It is a humble walk before our Creator and Lord. It is a gaze that lets Christ be who He is and a gaze that allows us to be who He is creating us to be. It is the gaze that takes our breath away.


“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His Marvelous light . . .” 1 Peter 2:9


(written by Landon Lewis)
Who are the sheep O’ Christ that you’d take their place
And be pierced through by your Father’s own hand
When it was they who deserved the disgrace
Because it was they who sinned through the first man?
Do you love them that much? Are you that attached?
Just because they were given didn’t mean
You had to save. The door you could have unlatched.
The darkness you could have left to be seen.
But no, you had to open their blind eyes
And take the corks out of their deafened ears
Then draw them through the door where salvation lies
And where your glory is sure to appear.
You did everything to save your own.



Daughters of the Father and beloved by the Most High, your beauty, both inner and physical, are wrapped around this, beholding Jesus. As your brothers and men, we want you to see and believe this beauty in you. The beauty that does not look at the worldly standards, which fall so short of what physical beauty is, but a physical and inner beauty so great that it defies imagination and is stunningly captivating. A beauty that is fit for the Kingdom and captures the heart of our King and your brothers.


In Him with love,

Your Brothers

Mud in her toes

She ran through the leaves
Feeling the mud in her bare little toes,
A little hanging on the eaves of her dress.
She laughed as the rain soaked her curls.
She hopped and skipped, and did a little dance.

Her dad who once saw only rain,
Gray and gloom,
Lost sight of anything else,
But the sweet smile of his princess.
He was no longer soaked,
No longer drenched.
“My little beautiful princess,
May I have this dance.”
A giggle and a courtesy, "yes"

Holding her close
He asked,
"Aren’t you afraid of the rain."
“No, papa, God made the rain”
She giggled,
“And you’re with me, so I know I’ll be safe.”

Husbands love your wives

Ephesians 5:25-30

“25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body.”


The scriptures paint a beautiful picture of the passion and the enduring and enveloping love of a husband for his wife. It is interesting that the scriptures never command the wife to love her husband. The husband, however, is commanded to love his wife in the most intense and serving way. He is to lay down his life for her. Husbands, when the scripture commands us to love our wives it uses the word “agape”, the very sacrificial love that represents Christ’s love for His church. The scripture describes our wives as “cherished”, “delight of your eyes”, “beloved”, “praised”, “more precious than jewels”, and “favor of the LORD”. Our love for our wives is to be a picture of Christ’s love for the church. Husbands, this is a love that has at its primary goal the good and protection of your wife. It is a love that sacrificially guards her under the word of God. Not in harshness but in the gentle and romantic strength of washing her with the word. A Husband must seek to serve his wife, nourishing and cherishing her, loving his wife as his own body. This is not a typical love, it is more. It is romantic, yet strong; passionate, yet deep and healthy. So husbands let us romance our wives in the amazing love Christ. Husbands, cultivate this love for your wife. And men, we must not wait till we are married for us to cultivate this kind of love, whether you are single or married, we must cultivate a heart of love. We must cultivate a love that not only lays our life down for our wife, but also for others, as we represent Christ’s love as men.

Drench me in Your sweet perfume

My Prayer for Marriage

o The Lord will have His rightful place, the first (the only) place. He is my first love.

o To live by faith

o To pursue others with faithfulness

o To honor my sisters

o To be pure, to be a man of honor

o That you will prepare my heart to be a home

o Lord, I want to be a one woman man, save my heart for my wife, and if or until I am married, Lord have my heart, in this.

o To trust that You will keep what I have committed to You

o To trust that You will meet my deepest needs and desires in this area

o You are the good Shepherd

o To lay it down at Your feet, to live fully as a single man - to commit myself to You (Being single is not to seek marriage, but to be free to seek the Lord undistracted, devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. We will pursue Him alone, seeking no other.)

God's pursuit of us

Day 5: The Romance/ God’s pursuit of us, pt 2
a. Washing with the Word/Sanctification
Ephesians 5:25-27
"25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless."

It can be frustrating, not having obtained perfection, to still fail and let God down. Our walk on this earth is not one of perfection, but of being perfected -sanctification. When we become saved, God doesn't take a huge fire hose and blast us with water to get rid of all the dirt. No, instead He comes close and gently washes us with the word. I don't understand why God does this, why we aren't made perfect. I hate the fact that I still sin. But I do know that this is romance, and somehow in all this, the romantic, gentle, loving character of God comes through. So in this walk where I am not perfect there is beauty and intimacy; and I am falling more in love with my Beloved, who washes me with His word.

You see it is Christ who washes us, who sanctifies us, who is the perfecter of our faith. We don’t wash ourselves. When Peter refused this, Jesus said, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” And note here how gentle and romantic this is. Not only does he wash us (a very romantic picture), but He washes us with His word. I think of my wife (if it is the Lord’s will) and how much she will desire me to speak gently to her and how deeply that will touch her heart. This passage is extremely intense and romantic. And that is what Christ does for us. He touches the deepest parts of our hearts in a way no one else can.

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.” – C.S. Lewis

Isaiah 61:10-11
"10I will rejoice greatly in the LORD,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
And as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up,
So the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise
To spring up before all the nations. "

Jesus is a good Shepherd. Do you trust him in your struggles, failures, hurt, in the valley of the shadow of Death?

Do you believe that He is a God who is with us in the realities of life and in the darkest parts of this world?

Additional readings: Ephesians 3:14-20; Romans 8:28-39; Reading - Our Security in Him ,
Video – At the cross

Washed

Day 8: Its effect on our lives, pt 3
a. By faith we are washed by His word.
2 Timothy 3:16
"All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work."

If you do not love the voice of your Beloved, then forget it. You’ve run in vain. 1 John says that if we are in Him we will love His commands. This is not a hard thing. As I mentioned before Jesus’ words are romantic. And if we love Christ we will respond to His romance. If we love Him we will obey His commands. Not only this but the scripture also says that the scripture is living and active. It works on us to obey. I think we often have the picture of the scripture as being a persuasive thing, when in reality it is effective. We all know that God’s word doesn’t return to Him void. When I read and meditate on God’s word it changes my life.
I like this quote: “God's Word is like a lion: powerful, living and active. We believe the lion is "caged" when it is used improperly as a pragmatic guidebook, platform for politics, for perpetual therapy, or for phony experience. The Church is responsible to uncage this lion and watch it run and triumph. And it will triumph, for it is the inspired and inerrant Word of God, the only infallible rule of faith and practice.”

I also like how Jesus said that we must come to Him with faith like a child. This doesn’t mean that the father doesn’t teach his child complicated or deep things. What it means is that the child trusts his father and believes him when he teaches him hard and deep things.

b. By faith we are we love others. (Unfortunately, I don’t have time here to go into this more deeply. Although it is vital and must accompany your faith.)

If Christ washes us with His word, how important is the scriptures in our lives?

How passionate are you to love His word? How receptive are you to His romance?

If the scripture is living and active, is not understanding it a reason not to read it?

Are there scriptures that cause you to tremble? Do you avoid them or do you respond with the faith of a child? (read Isaiah 66:1,2)

Additional readings: Isaiah 66:1,2; 1 Corinthians 2:4,5; 1 John
Video - Lion
Video – the Word of God overcomes the enemy

pirate

responding to a man's pursuit

This can be applied to men as well (and this is a general principle. I know each case can be different. And this is meant to only be a quick thought, not a full treatise about it.):

Often it is said that men should take the initiative to pursue women more. I think that this can often be true. I think one of the reasons that men don’t, however, is because of how women respond when they are not interested in being pursued. If he was her friend, she often pushes him away, and he loses her as a friend. Women, I know not every man has honor. But when a man of honor pursues you, and you say no, trust his integrity. Trust his strength (or at least God’s strength) to be able to continue to honor you as a friend. Just because a man pursues you, that is not a reason to push him away as a friend. When you treat a man this way you are telling him he is not strong. I know for me it makes me feel like I have failed, even if I have done things with integrity, because I have lost her trust in me, as a man. It may not be the end of the world, and even though my faith is not in how she responds, it still hurts. And on top of this, it is a loss of a dear friendship. Women if you want men to pursue you, then treat them like men when they do.

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her"

I was talking with a friend the other day, who had invited a girl to a group event. She is one of those girls that most of the guys find attractive. I told my friend to look after her as a brother. I told him she needed a man who will bring out who she is not just take her. Talking about that with my friend made me think. Do we look for relationships for what we can get out of it or do we look for relationships so that we can serve and build others up. I want to say this to the guys, if you are going to be a husband you have to learn to lay your life down for others (and not just women), or you won’t be able to do this for your wife. It starts now on how you pursue friendships. My relationship with my sisters is not so that I can have a wife, but is to, as a brother, build them up and encourage them in what the Lord has for them. If someday (with much accountability and prayer) building a sister up means marrying them, then so be it, but in the meantime my relationship with my sister’s is not to get my needs met, but to serve.

Beauty

Many years ago I watched this movie and one of the scenes stuck with me. The man had drawn a portrait of the woman he loved. When he drew the portrait, he didn’t hide who she was. The portrait was an accurate drawing of what she looked like faults and all. He showed it to her and explained that he knew her, he could see her faults, he didn’t have some fairy tale vision of who she was, but he loved her for who she was and that love was real. This is more than a fairy tale love. Its deeper and more real. And yes, I do want to love my wife this way, Lord willing, but, honestly, I do not know if God will give me a wife, but I do know that I can give this love to others. And I want them to know that Love.