Do not seek greatness, seek a broken heart

We are not meant for great feats, great feats are nothing in the presence of God. We are meant to have surrendered hearts, to have hearts of stone turned into flesh and to be conformed into the image of Christ. If we get this, let God do what He will with this clay, whether high or low among the feats of men.

False Motives

Some people will neglect doing good, because what prompted that good was a false motive. I have learned to thank God for using the false motive to remind me to do good. I will do the good and ask him to work on my heart so that my motivations are good as well.

You see, it is not about me or my motives, I am saved by grace. And it is grace, because my motives will never be right. If you are obsessed by being perfect, your trying to save yourself, it is a self-righteousness, and no gospel. The Gospel has faith in the work of Christ, not ones own works. We make much of Christ, not ourselves. It is about the Gospel and glorifying Christ.

I fight vigilantly against false motives, and I do plead fervently with God for pure motives, they are sweet, but my hope is not in them.

God calls us to be stewards, God created us to cultivate

God created us to cultivate,  to reflect His character in making beauty out of chaos, when we loose that, we loose a part of who we are.

As a culture and just in our sinful nature, we often have become comfortable with lifestyles that our lazy and messy. We avoid cultivating the things God has placed in our lives. Instead of being the faithful stewards God created us to be, we willing to settle for less joy  than what God has for us, because we think we know ourselves and our desires better than God. We think we know what we are created for better than God.

 When we see the weeds, we try to save ourselves by avoiding the weeds. We choose not to cultivate, because we think we are better off ignoring the hardships of the weeds. We listen to the foolish woman in Proverbs and run after her. And we weary ourselves our attempts to avoid the weeds.

When God created man, He created man to be a steward, to work and to cultivate, to make beauty out of chaos. He created us to reflect Himself. This is a part of the very fabric of what we were created to be.

No, we are not to be perfect, and, yes, there are many weeds, we have fallen from our original state. There is also death and decay. Nor our we to be legalistic or take things to the extreme, sin has made this world full of weeds, and there is a realistic understanding of that, we are not perfect not is our cultivating perfect. But this is still who we are, and despite the weeds, God still calls us to cultivate. We are still to reflect God's heart, and we are still to faithfully act as stewards of what He has given us. We are to still work and make beauty out of chaos.

God is more concerned about our hearts and that we have hearts that pursue being faithful stewards who seek to make beauty out of chaos, than the results. And this will look differently for different situations. But God does not want us to have hearts that when we find weeds, instead of being faithful stewards, we make excuses to not cultivate and be faithful stewards, and instead turn to ourselves and our own immediate wants and desires and become lazy and in the process loose what He created us to be. The foolish woman seems right and pleasing, but God has called us to something more. The foolish woman makes us weary, but God in His wisdom calls us to rest in who He has created us to be.

A few of the things I have learned this week

I don't know where God is leading me, but I can trust that He will lead me. And that As I seek His face and walk in integrity, He will make my path straight for me. And whatever happens, its ok to step out, because He will be there keeping me from stumbling. I don't have to be afraid.

We can spend our lives running after our dreams, or we can spend our lives trusting in God.

One more time - Disciple

Quote by Elizabeth Eliot

"If we imagine that happiness is to be found by furious pursuit, we will end up in a rage at the unsatisfying results. If, on the other hand, we set ourselves to pursue the wise and loving and holy will of our Heavenly Father, we will find that happiness comes - quietly, in unexpected ways, and suprisingly often, as the by-product of sacrifice."

--Elizabeth Eliot

Does God have a great purpose for your life?

A friend of mine made this statement last night, "God did not tell us to seek a purpose for our life, that is something we have made up . . ." He had gone through a difficult time and fell into a deep depression because he was trying to find the purpose that God had in his life and couldn't find any. When he looked at his life, he felt like everything he touched failed. After going through a long depression, he started asking God, "What is important to you?". He came to realize that "None of this stuff is about us anyways".


It is not about us. It is not about having a great purpose in life. It is not about our purpose at all, it is about His. And He can either choose to do that in the mundane or He can choose to do that in what the world or the church calls great. We are God's handiwork. We are the clay and He is the potter, and He forms the clay as He wishes, for His purposes alone.

Birthday Wish

What do you do when you are told that God has said, “no” to what you want most?




I heard this story of a man who was engaged to be married. He had the life he dreamed of, but he risked it all to help a slave escape to freedom. For this, he was put away in prison for five years. His fiancé faithfully waited those five years. When he was released from prison after those five years, he immediately went and helped another slave gain their freedom and was caught again. He was put in prison for another fifteen years. Another man was put into prison for not denying the gospel. He was taken away from his beloved and his children. His daughter was blind and he did not know how his family would be provided for. He longed to be there for his family, but he could not deny the gospel. Another man was engaged when he came to Christ. He knew that he could not marry his betrothed if she did not know Christ so he talked with her and shared with her the gospel. She became a believer. The country was Muslim so to become a Christian meant severe consequences, so they agreed to escape and be married. She never showed up at the meeting place. Her family found out that she had become a Christian and gave her to a Muslim man to be his wife. He would never see her again.


As my birthday nears, I have been thinking about the desires of my heart. If I were to ask God for a birthday present, what would I ask for? I have desires that are so deeply rooted in my heart and that I long for so intensely that I cry out to God, “It is only by Your mercy and grace that I could survive if these were taken away.” I know I could look at my desires. I could ask God to give me the desires of my heart, but I know that that is not a real prayer. I am not asking him to do that. Instead I am asking him to make me more dependent on Him, to trust Him more. To hold on to that treasure that is deeper than the things of this world. To hear His voice. To hold fast and to cling to Him, who is my life.



Off to the English Civil War

Tell me not, sweet, I am unkind
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To warlike arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I serve
The first foe in the field
And with a sterner faith embrace
The sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such
As thou too shalt adore.
I could not love thee, dear, so much
Loved I not honor more.

---- Richard Lovelace


I must love God more than the desires of my heart, or I don't have anything. All is loss compared to him. Abba, I pray that you set this truth deep in the roots of my heart, and may my heart be dependent on Thee. Command what Thou wilst, and grant what Thou commandest. My heart is Yours, my Lord.

If God is so powerful and so good, why do bad things happen?

Held

adventure

As I grow older I have learned adventure is not always found where adventure is; I have found that adventure is found in faithfulness, and that more then I could have dreamed.

Poem written December 2003

I heard the thunder of the gates as they closed and
The heaviness of the chains as they were wrapped around and locked.
All light fled, and no whispers of comfort came.
Mire and heaviness engulfed me, as I waited helpless.
I cried out for help, silence
And so I stayed on my knees waiting.
My captors would cry out, “Where is your Hope? He will not deliver you.”
I said, I will not lose my trust, in the Living One,
He will deliver me in His love, for His name’s sake.
I will put my trust in Him, though the darkness hides me,
Though I cannot see His face.
He will not hide from me forever.
He is my strength.
Oh! Is He not mighty and His love grand.
He will come and make war on my enemies.
He will deliver me and turn my sorrow into joy.
He will give me a new song, and will teach me to dance.
He will teach me to war, and my enemies will flee.
He will give me hands and words to heal the wounded and afflicted,
And hearts will see and turn to Him.
He will bless my fields and they will produce abundant wheat and fruit.
He will be near.
Oh! My enemies, though my Help looks far off,
He is near, He is with me.
And even in my greatest sorrow, He is my comfort.
And I will praise Him with all my heart.
Oh! How great is His joy at all times.
I will not be ashamed, no, for I trust in Him.
I hear His thunder now.

Written Wednesday, February 2005

---This is not a time of greatness, but a time to learn faithfulness - A time of developing strength and soundness, an abandonment to the heart of Jesus.
---Father, teach me to throw everything at You. To cease striving and to take up the burden of Jesus which is light. Let me abandon myself in faith. It is not about my strength, but casting everything at your feet, and walking before You in submissiveness.