My week . . . or so

This week has been hard. I feel like a dork. My emotions have been so disheveled and confusing. And my response to it has a desperation. I am feeling stuff and having fears that I know are wrong. I am ok and I know I am ok, because I have already given the situation to the Lord and determined to walk in integrity. And I will do my best to be bold and step up, however the situation turns out. But my emotions are a mess. A lot of fear and anxiety and foolishness that I know is foolishness, but my emotions aren't cooperating. And I am not impressed with my response. In fact I am frustrated by how I am responding. I hate it. I am mad at myself. I feel like a failure because I am not stronger. I feel like I am messing everything up because I am not stronger.

Why am I saying this. Well, read the Psalms. Our hope cannot be in ourselves. I have to hope in God. I wish I could walk this Christian walk as a strong man. But I am not. It is only by His grace. I have no good thing apart from Him. I don't trust myself, but I do trust Him. His work of redemption works here and now in my real life, in my real messed upness. And some how out of all this mess and the wreck that I am, He is my refuge and He will vindicate me and make me trustworthy. Not for my glory, but for His.

One more time - Disciple

Wrestling with God

Sometimes hearing the Lord, comes from wrestling with the Lord as Jacob did. We know that He is our only hope. He alone has the answer. And so we wrestle with God, knowing we have no other place to go, until He gives us His blessing. We don't wrestle because it weakens God, it weakens us. We wrestle because we have faith in who He is.

Tenth Avenue North - Love is Here

The One

Skillet - Whispers In The Dark

What God has told me.

I will not loose what I have committed to the LORD.

He will make a way where there seems to be no way.

Walk in integrity, wait patiently for the LORD.

. . . And He will uphold me in these things, because I can't.

To be torn apart, will we follow? . . .

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” – Philippians 2:5-11

Several years ago, while a group of people were praying for me, I was given two pictures by them. One was of a Lion in the desert, content under the shade of a tree. The other was me walking through thorns, being torn apart and bleeding, but behind me where the blood was flowers began to bloom. I liked the first picture, I don’t know that I could say I liked the second one. It scared me. At the time I was going through a difficult time, and didn’t see how I could handle this. But I am learning that if I am to truly minister in this world where sin has reeked so much havoc, the only way I can do that is to go through it, just as Christ did. Christ said that we our to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow him. This means that just as He humbled himself and came to a fallen broken earth and reached out to the hurting and despised, the drunk and harlots, and the sinners. He touched the lepers, the sick, and smelly beggars. He was born in a manger. He suffered and died. He took our sin upon himself. And we are to be like Christ.

Here is the paradox the picture of suffering and the picture of the strength and contentment of the Lion are the same. You can’t have one without the other. The slain Lamb is the Lion. And so we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing the strength, the joy, and the power of the Kingdom and the King that we serve.

Lecrae Beyond Belief

Trust the Lord to provide what we need in a spouse

"Young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing."

It can be hard to choose to be a godly man or women and watch as other men and women are finding spouses and you have nothing. And you wonder what is wrong with you and where are the promises of God and why am I not married? Why is this person falling for this person and not for me? Why am I holding on to what is good? Is it for nothing? I was reading Psalm 37 and it says "Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked." I realized that living as a godly man or woman does not mean I will become rich and get married. In fact, I may have very little, but it is better. My living for righteousness is not for others, it is for my Beloved. It is because I enjoy and delight in my God. Here is the promise: that as we live for him, we may go unnoticed by the world, but we won't go unnoticed by a God who pursues us and wants the best for us and loves us and delights in us. And so we do not fret at things that fade, but instead we trust the words of a good Shepherd:

"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him, fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, "

I have my fears. I find it easy to hold on to what I think I need or want. I can believe this woman is the woman I should marry and I can try to hold on hard, but I am often wrong. Beloved, we must continue to trust Him, who knows us and our needs, more than we know ourselves. When He says, "No" it is because He knows us and loves us. He is a good Father who will not give us a stone when we ask for bread. He knows what we need. We can trust Him with our hearts.

"I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be shamed."

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."

Wait on your knees for the Lord for a husband

I wrote earlier about a man finding a wife on his knees. A woman must wait to give her heart to her husband on her knees as well. I think with all the false ideas it is easy to be swept away by a man who is not a man who will be a safe place for your heart. It is so easy to buy the false claim that charm and beauty will satisfy the deepest longings of our heart.

I think there are men who are emotional and run after a woman with romanticized gestures winning a woman's heart through appearances that fade. I think there are other men who wait on the Lord, refusing to capture a woman's heart through romanticized gestures, but instead seeking to build her up through words and actions that don't fade away. These men are sometimes more romantic, but choose not to win a woman by those means, because they want to protect the women around them to be a safe place. They also want to learn to have healthy relationships with other women and still remain faithful to his wife, even while he is single.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain. Find a man who delights in the Lord.

A few basic false assumptions about origins

• The Evolution (Darwinian) Theory of the origin of man based on science. In reality it is based on inference. It is a more excepted inference, but only an inference.
  
• Time is constant everywhere at all times. It is probably was and maybe is not.
  
• Environmental conditions have been the same on Earth throughout time. Evidence shows that something significant possibly has changed. (And I am not talking about ice ages, etc.)
• Genesis 1 and 2 contradict each other. This is a misconception of scope. Genesis 2 is a description of Eden, a special garden made for man on the 6th day. (There is always a People, Place, and King). A careful reading will show that there are no contradictions.
  
• Genesis 1 contradicts science, for me it challenges my understanding of science. I find it quite fascinating to read.
  
• It takes a long period of time for certain geologic features to occur, this depends on the conditions.The Bible records geologic events that indicate that significant changes could have occurred.
• God has no place in science, God only has no place in science if we can prove He has no place in science. If a God exist, that God will have a significant impact on nature and must be considered objectively. So the assumption that there is no God rules out a significant possibility. This does not mean we do not do science with integrity, but we also cannot interpret the facts or make inferences from the bases on the idea that there is no God, if that is not the only interpretation. We must allow for both possibilities in our inferences. What this means as for as the integrity of science is that we need to be honest that there are some things that we don't know and that what is being taught is only educated guesses or inferences based on the data that we have at this time.
  

The Laws of Science

We have a God who over and over again proves that science obeys Him and not the other way around. And yet we have a hard time believing this. Often He uses science, but also often the Bible records Him doing miracles that contradict the laws of science.

Your hands that are holding me

Trying to figure out my mess, my broken heart, my sin

When I struggle or my heart is broken or I've failed or I don't feel anything at all, I find myself wanting to figure it all out. I rush to and fro trying to understand the situation, my heart, how to get better. I don't sleep at night and don't get things done in the day, because my mind is trying to wrap around the events and feelings. I am wanting to understand who I am and why.

As God's love washes over me, I am learning that I don't have to figure it all out. I don't have to run to and fro. There is only one place I need to run. And that is into the arms of Jesus. When I come to Him, He doesn't always give me the answers I was searching for or I thought I needed, or make it so that I have it all figured out. Instead of listening to us and fixing it, He loves us. . . He holds me in His arms and gives me Himself. I don't think the deep longings of our heart is to have everything fixed, I think the deep longing of our hearts are by a man who has given everything for us. It is a person, not an understanding, that meets our needs.

God cares for us. He says that He knows our needs. And we can trust Him. We are more valuable than lilies and sparrows.

". . . casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

God bless the broken heart

Portraying Christ in our lives

Bruce Marchiano, the man who played Jesus in the Matthew movie, was speaking this Sunday morning. He said that when he got chosen to play the role of Jesus, he was overwhelmed. He felt the burden of representing Jesus in this film. And he cried out to God desperately asking God to make him like Jesus so that, who Christ is would come forth in the film.

He also talked about one scene where they used a real beggar. This man could be smelt before he even got close. Bruce had a hard time thinking about being touched by this man. But as the scene began, he was overwhelmed and kissed the man's hands. And when the scene ended, he grabbed the man in his arms and just began to weep.

We are ambassadors on behalf of God. We represent Jesus, not in a film but in something greater, the real world. This should cause us to desperately cry out to God and ask Him to make us like Jesus, so that Christ might come forth in our lives.

Happy Resurrection

Today, it has really bothered me when people say "Happy Easter". This is the first year I think I have really felt this way. And its not because I think its evil to say "Happy Easter". It is that this year I want to hear about the power of the resurrection, and even though saying "Happy Easter" has become synonymous with many to meaning celebrating the resurrection. This year I was longing to hear it proclaimed straight forward. I wanted to hear the power behind it. And I was longing to hear, "Happy Resurrection Day". I think that's cool, because I want to hunger to hear about the Resurrection. Anyways, Happy Resurrection Day :)

The cost of loving others

When Christ said that there is not greater love than one who lays down his life for another and commanded us to love as He has loved us. He meant it. Loving others will cost us our life. We must lay it down to love.

The sun stove

Love

Sometimes doing the noble thing is the the thing that will break your heart the most. But I believe that love is worth a broken heart.

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4

Men, we must be men who pursue our wives, not in the passions of our desire or in the arena of social agendas or church events or relationships, but instead on our knees in prayer, and in the word and with accountability with other men. As we develop relationships with our sisters, our intentions should be to build them up and encourage them as brothers. Its ok to get to know a woman, I think we can be so concerned about our motivations that we create an unhealthy wall between us and our sisters, but its not ok to do so in a way that takes her. As a brother you should seek her best, to learn how to encourage her in the Lord. This means realizing that in your relationship with a woman that she needs a brother, first. I think when we are attracted to a woman; we can make getting to know her a means to find out if she is the one, instead of honestly just trying to get to know her. When in reality she doesn’t need to fit our concept of what we want her to be, she is the Lord’s and serves him and not us. And so as we get to know our sisters, we need to encourage them in what God is doing in their lives, not try to figure out how they fit our own plan. There may be times that you find your self desiring to pursue a woman, but because you are seeking a wife on your knees and with accountability from other men, you know that pursuing her is not what is best for her. And as a brother you have to deny your desires and continue to encourage her in what God is doing in her life. Love is often laying down your own desires for another. If we are to pursue marriage, God will show us this on our knees, not in us trying to figure it out in the confusion and messiness of our feelings and social agendas. In our interactions with other women we need to allow them to be who God is making them to be. I don’t want a woman to feel like she has to jump through the hoops of my agenda in order to be beautiful. And I don’t want her to feel like she has to compare herself to other women (Which is why I want to learn to treat all my sisters well and equally beautiful). God has made her beautiful and I want to encourage that beauty.

Men, when you are a man that pursues a woman on your knees and in the word and with accountability, it allows the women to feel safe, because they know that your relationships with them are for the purpose of encouraging them and building them up because they are beautiful, not to determine whether they are beautiful. They also know that they can count on you as a brother, because you are willing to lay down your desires for them, even when it hurts. And they know that in your pursuit of a wife, your not holding up a standard that they have to live up to, but are waiting on the Lord for His council on who to pursue. And they know that the determination of whether you are pursuing them as a wife is not because they don’t measure up and it is not dependent on some standard that they must live up to, but because you are a man on your knees, seeking God’s will with integrity from a sincere and solid desire to hear the Lord. So instead of following your passions, you stand in integrity and love with the heart of God.

I know some amazing women. And I know for myself that as I pursue a wife this way, I can honestly say that in my flesh I might pursue them and the reason I am not pursuing them is not because they are not worthy or physically beautiful, but because I must follow the Lord. And it would break my heart if they felt like they were not worthy or beautiful, because that is so far from the truth. And I hope that as I walk in the solid foundation of seeking a wife on my knees, that that security and strength will encourage my sisters in the Lord. I believe that as men stand in integrity of who God is, women will feel beautiful and cherished. There will still be hurt and messy relationships because we live in a sinful world, but the more we stand as men the more we can point to the One who provides security in midst of this messed up world and emotions.

For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3

I believe that women need the men to be strong godly brothers, who are a part of their lives. But let me be clear, this does not mean that we chase girls or use this as an excuse to pursue a girl that we like under the disguise of being “a brother”. A man who pursues a relationship with a women to just take her is not a brother. To those guys who would do this, let me say this straight out – you are a jerk, and God is not at all amused by this kind of behavior. And I hope the men around you won’t be either. Also I want to say to the men around me. I don’t think I am perfect and I hope that if you see me do this you will come around me and tell me that I am a jerk and help me to get back on track.

Even when, as men, our intentions are noble, we still have to keep in mind that there are boundary lines that we do not need to cross. Showing a woman that she is cherished means protecting her. You cannot make her feel beautiful and non-protected at the same time. And so in the way that we relate to her, we must include protecting her heart and not crossing those boundaries. As we become men of integrity, not just in our relationship with them, but also in life, women feel beautiful. Let me say this again, when men are the kind of men who stand on God’s word, women feel beautiful and secure. So men, if you want women to know that they are beautiful, become men who are noble, grounded in God’s word, and live a life of integrity. Become men who are safe, who able to protect the women around them. Become men, with whom they know will not follow the passions of their heart, but are seeking to stand on the heart of God and are therefore worthy protectors.

For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

"a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2

I remember talking with one of my sisters while she was going through a hard time. She wanted to know that she was beautiful. She wanted to know that she was lovely and that she was loved. Talking with her and hearing the stuff she was going through tore my heart, because I knew she was beautiful and loved. If you get a chance to listen to her talk about her fond memories about her brothers, they are stories about how her brothers protected her and watched over her. Unfortunately, because of a broken home, those times were not as often as they should have been. But those times with her brothers were the deep desires of her heart.

God has been teaching me that women need good men in the church to step up and be fathers and brothers to them to be able to fill some of those heart needs. They need men who are safe and who will honor and cherish them as daughters and sisters in the Lord. They need real fathers and brothers who will become involved with their lives and walk along side them and show them that they are beautiful and lovely and loved.

Look at: Biblical womanhood video

Also look at: On being found beautiful

And: Biblical womanhood video

For part 1: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 1
For part 2: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 2
For part 3: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 3
For part 4: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 4
For part 5: "a man who will bring out who she is not just take her", part 5

Sleeping around and having had an abortion

God has been really challenging me lately. Over the past year or so He has been teaching me what it means to love someone. One of the things I've been wrestling with is how I would respond if the woman God would have me marry had a history of sleeping around and had had an abortion. Two very difficult things to come to grips with. It would be hard.

But I know this, I'd want her to feel safe and loved. I'd want her to feel pure and cherished. I'd want her to feel secure in my love and that she could trust me with her heart.

I'd want a woman to know this not just in a marriage but also as a brother. I know with my real sisters I want this. And I want my sisters in the Lord to know that they are deeply loved.

I am glad that God has put this on my heart. And has had me work through this, cause it has taught me more about the Gospel. God did not pursue a virgin, but a harlot, which is what I am without his grace. I murdered His Son. And yet God loves me and has covered my sin. This is the Gospel. This is the Love Story. I want to know this love and I want to love others with this kind of love.

The purpose of romance is to make a woman feel safe and secure.

If you use romance to impress a woman, you have missed the point. You do not know what romance is. The purpose of romance is to make her feel safe and secure. In order to be romantic, you have to be that kind of man.

Wrapped in Your Arms - Fireflight

Your are my strong tower - Kutless

Clouds and trembling

Sometimes our paths are cloudy and we cant see what is ahead of us. And sometimes the ground trembles. It is in these times that the words of the scripture are so sweet. "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my path." "You enlarge my steps under me, And my feet have not slipped." We are not shaken or surrounded by clouds without purpose. We are shaken so that only Christ may remain. And there are clouds so that we don't lean on our own understanding. I must understand that I do not uphold my self. Christ upholds me. And so as the storms come, we know that He is Lord.

Is my heart honest and genuine?

I had this written about me the other day, "I honestly believe that you have a heart that truly seeks to honor God! ...and I couldn't think of a greater compliment to give anyone than that." I don't know if this is true. When I look at my heart and my motives, I don't like what I see. There is a bunch of false pretenses and unhealthy desires. All my best motives are tainted by great sin. But what I have learned is that instead of looking to myself and trying to get my motives in right, I have to look to Christ. My sin, my false motives, my ugliness were born on the cross. And so I walk out not with any confidence that my motives are right, but in the confidence that Christ covers my sin, because my motives are not right.

When Isaiah saw the Lord, he got an honest and genuine look into who he was. And this man of God cried out, " Woe is me! For I am undone. I am a man of unclean lips . . ." God justifies and imparts grace to Isaiah, cleansing him of his sin. It is through grace that God sends Isaiah to minister and enables Isaiah to say,"Here I am! Send me." His grace is sufficient.

John Piper - the wrath of God

Marc Driscoll - Spiritual Gifts

These sermons give a good beginning background in understanding the gifts of the Holy Spirit, however these sermons are only a basic understanding of these things. Read what the word of God says about these things, for the word of God is the standard for understanding about the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

From: First Corinthians: Christians Gone Wild by Mark Driscoll

Spiritual Gifts part 1: Definition, Wisdom, Knowledge
(As the case with all these gifts, defining them can be difficult, but the key is that these gifts edify and build up the church. It is ok that some might have different definitions of the gifts, because whatever you call it these gifts, gifts are to be displayed in the church.)

Spiritual Gifts part 2: Faith, Healing, Miracles, Discernment

Spiritual Gifts part 3: Apostles, Teaching, Help/Service, Administration
(We disagree on some of the fine points of roles of women and how they use these gifts (for example I do not believe that women should publicly teach or lead men) , although we both agree that women should be using these gifts and these gifts are vital to the church.)

Spiritual Gifts part 4: Encouragement, Giving, Leadership, Mercy, Hospitality
( I have seen great leaders that did not fit the worldly idea of leadership, but ended up being great leaders when encouraged. Don't dismiss someone just because they don't fit our expectations. Sometimes understanding the giftings that people have is through discernment and learning to hear God on how you can encourage others.)

Spiritual Gifts part 5: Tongues and Prophesy



I can't support the next sermon, its position on women doesn't fully address the position of women in the church and makes an assumption that is not supported within scripture or by the evidence. The evidence actually indicates that these scriptures are not a response to unruly women, but a standard set based on the word of God. Although I disagree with Driscoll on this, I do love what Driscoll says about your family as a man and that a wife who is pursuing theology and coming to her husband is sexy not sexist. I also agree with him that children's/women's ministries are often the result of trying to fill the gap of men who do not lead in their own homes. Men should lead their homes and be the ones their wives and children can come to for theological questions. For more on this issue see - Cherished or 1 Corinthians 14 or Letter to the Women

Lost Catholic to Saved by Grace - Jacquelyn's Testimony

Al Mohler Live Dangerously

Christianity is not exclusive, part 2

Resurection body

Have you ever thought about the fact that if you had never seen a tree or a plant and saw a seed for the first time, in all your imagination you would never have been able to dream what it would become.

So Much More - a book recommendation

I have been reading So Much More by the Botkin sisters. It has been challenging me on what it means to be a father, a brother, and what it means to expand the Kingdom of God.

Personal thoughts on my neighborhood

I am not writing this to convict other people. I am writing this to convict myself, and ask God to teach me how to love and to preach the Gospel. I desire your prayers that God will do this in me, because in myself, there is nothing.

I have been talking with a few people how the economy is affecting this area, how crime is on the rise. I have been thinking not so much on how to fix this, but on how do I faithfully respond to this. Is it right for me me to turn my face the other way? I was talking to my neighbor about a part of town I went to several years ago. He told me not to go back, because I would get jumped. And I am thinking we are willing to send men off to war. Even in the church we send missionaries off to dangerous places, but am I willing to go to these hard places here next to me to love my neighbor.

So where does this begin. I don't know. But I don't want turn my head away.

The charasmatic and the doctrines of men

I would have to call my self a “charismatic”. I believe that the gifts of the Holy Spirit are still relevant for, today, and I long to see them used in the church. However my heart is broken by those who call themselves “charismatic”, but have no biblical understanding of what that means. Some of what is called the “charismatic movement” is really part of an “experiential movement” where the doctrine of the Word is replaced by the doctrine of men. I was recently in a meeting where a person proclaimed “Seventeen, is the number of victory, and I believe that God has victory for us. Just proclaim it!” My thought was, “What? Where in the world did they get that? It is not in scripture. Yes, God does have victory for us, amazing victory, and we can talk about this, (yes, lets talk about the depths of it! We can even dance.) but your missing it, your missing the power, by relying on the doctrines of men.” Over the years, I have heard people talk about “7-12 steps of freedom and victory”, casting out “spirits of fear and anger, etc.”, “spirit filled church”, “second tier Christianity or another level of Christianity”, what different symbols mean in dreams, methods of prophesy, and so on. But none of these teachings are in the Bible. They may pull out a few scriptures to suit them at best, but when you really test them against a serious look at scripture they don’t stand up. Where do they get this from? They get this from having doctrines that come from teachings of men and from allowing experiential events dictate doctrine. The scripture is very clear on its rebuke against leaning on the doctrines of men, no matter how holy or convincing they may appear. Of course this is not just a “charismatic” thing. When I talk to many Christians and I ask them why they believe what they believe, most of the time the response is “Well, I feel God would . . .” or “I have experienced or seen this . . .” You can’t do that. You can’t base what you believe on what you feel or what you have experienced. I will tell them, “OK, go study the scripture and come back and show me where this is.” Who God is is not left for our interpretation. Sound doctrine is not based on what we feel or what we have seen or what other people have done or what we have experienced or how “blessed” a ministry appears to be. Sound doctrine is based on the word of God, and it does not change. If we base our beliefs and actions on the doctrines of men we will fall, but if we are planted firmly in God’s word with a heart of obedience, our foundation will stand firm along with what is built on it.

When Paul was writing the church at Corinth, he told them that it was not good that they boasted in men. “For when one says, ‘I follow Paul’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos’, are you not merely human? What then is Apollos? What is Paul? . . . For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.” The Corinthian church was a place where the gifts of the Holy Spirit were being made manifest, however Paul wrote, “But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? For when one says, ‘I follow Paul’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos’, are you not merely human?” Paul wrote the Corinthians, "But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ." In Colossians, Paul writes, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” Jesus rebuked the people of His day because the held to the doctrines of men rather than to the word of God. We don’t shape the word of God, the word of God shapes us.

The “charismatic” are not the only ones who have this problem. I think the “experiential movement” is a plague that affects the church in general and in many different ways. I use them as an example, because, I am one, and I believe that even with all their faults many who I have met and know personally have so much to offer the church. And where they are solid in the word, I am amazed and challenged. I love my brothers in the Lord. I would like to see what God would do in the “charismatic movement” if the word of God became the foundation it was rooted in. Paul also loved those in the church, who didn’t have it all together. He addressed the Corinthians with love and he believed in what God was doing in them. His dear love for them is evident in his writings. And I believe iron sharpens iron. I need my brothers to press into sound doctrine and into Christ, because we do not walk this Christian walk alone. I have so much to learn from my brothers. None of us are perfect and have it right. We come together as sinners, standing in the grace of God, alone. None of us have anything to boast, but instead we are to encourage each other in the Lord. Also, I have found that the biggest stumbling block for many believing that the gifts of the Holy Spirit are relevant for today is because the “experiential movement” is so prevalent in those who call themselves “charismatic”. If the word of God became central to those who call themselves “charismatic” and solid and sound teaching and doctrine characterized the way they walked, then they could teach others about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I want to see this. So I will leave you with this: Stop believing in the doctrine of men and start truly and faithfully believing in the power of the Holy Spirit. We will find that the power of the Holy Spirit is stronger than anything man could come up with.

Unshockable

One of the things my pastor says often is that he wants us to be an unshockable people, where we come together and love each other despite all the muck and mess that each of us bring to the table. When we truly understand who we are, and we see our own sin and our own desperate need for the Gospel, now at this very moment, we are not shocked by other peoples sins and faults. There is no longer any room for boasting. We have no good thing apart from Christ. And as we see God's patience and love in our own lives and understand his grace and the power of the Gospel, it frees us to love those around us. It also frees us to celebrate, because when our boasting is gone, we are free to rejoice together in the one who truly deserves the glory and honor and majesty.

Comment on R.C. Ryle's words

What R.C. Ryle wrote in my previous post is a hard saying, but it is a hard saying with much comfort. God's demand of holiness is essential to the gospel, because it is the gospel. Christ death and resurrection secured for us a means of grace that included justification, sanctification, and glorification. Each one of these obtained solely by grace. So the grace that brought us into this salvation also sanctifies us.

It is in this that there is comfort. We could in no effort of ourselves bring about our salvation and likewise we in no work or effort can make ourselves holy. So this command to be holy must be fulfilled in Christ. And so as Paul addresses the Galatians, he tells them that what they have begun in faith, must be continued to be walked out in faith.

So if you want to be holy, you must begin with Christ, you must press into Christ, and you must rely on Christ. You must believe the Gospel. And this is not an idle promise, sanctification has been secured by the quarantee of the Holy Spirit, to those who are being saved.

Fragile Breath - Tod Agnew

We must be Holy - We can't, except by faith, and so we behold the Lamb

We Must Be Holy

R.C. Ryle, 1816-1900

The righteousness which Jesus Christ brought in must be our only confidence,—the blood of atonement our only hope. All this is perfectly true, and yet we must be holy.

(First published as a "Helmingham Series" Tract in Helmingham, Suffolk)

We must be holy on earth before we die, if we desire to go to heaven after death. If we hope to dwell with God for ever in the life to come, we must endeavour to be like Him in the life that now is. We must not only admire holiness, and wish for holiness: we must be holy.

Holiness cannot justify and save us: holiness cannot cover our iniquities, make satisfaction for transgressions, pay our debts to God. Our best works are no better than filthy rags, when tried by the light of God's law. The righteousness which Jesus Christ brought in must be our only confidence, the blood of atonement our only hope. All this is perfectly true, and yet we must be holy.

We must be holy, because God in the Bible plainly commands it. "As He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy" (1 Peter 1:15, 16).

We must be holy, because this is one great end for which Christ came into the world. "He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto Him which died for them, and rose again" (2 Cor. 5:15).

We must be holy, because this is the only sound evidence that we have a saving faith in Christ. "Faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also" (James 2:17, 26).

We must be holy, because this is the only proof that we love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. What can be more plain than our Lord's own words? "If ye love Me, keep my commandments." "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth Me." (John 14:15, 21).

We must be holy, because this is the only sound evidence that we are God's children. "As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God." "Whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God" (Rom. 8:14; I John 3:10).

Lastly, we must be holy, because without holiness on earth we should never be prepared and meet for heaven. It is written of the heavenly glory, "There shall in no wise enter into it anything that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie" (Rev. 21:27). St. Paul says expressly, "Without holiness no man shall see the Lord" (Heb. 12:14).

Ah, reader, the last text I have just quoted is very solemn. It ought to make you think. It was written by the hand of inspired man: it is not my private fancy. Its words are the words of the Bible: not of my own invention. God has said it, and God will stand to it: "Without holiness no man shall see the Lord."

What tremendous words these are! What thoughts come across my mind as I write them down! I look at the world, and see the greater part of it lying in wickedness; I look at professing Christians, and see the vast majority having nothing of Christianity but the name; I turn to the Bible, and I hear the Spirit saying, "Without holiness no man shall see the Lord."

Surely it is a text that ought to make you consider your ways, and search your hearts. Surely it should raise within you solemn thoughts, and send you to prayer.

You may try to put me off by saying you feel much, and think much about these things, far more than many suppose. I answer, This is not the point. The poor lost souls in hell do as much as this. The great question is, not what you think and what you feel, but what you DO. Are you holy?

You may say, It was never meant that all Christians should be holy, and that holiness such as I have described is only for great saints, and people of uncommon gifts. I answer, I cannot see this in Scripture. I read that "every man who hath hope in Christ purifieth himself" (1 John 3:3). "Without holiness no man shall see the Lord."

You may say, It is impossible to be so holy and to do our duty in this life at the same time: the thing cannot be done. I answer, You are mistaken: it can be done. With God on your side, nothing is impossible. It has been done by many: Moses, and Obadiah, and Daniel, and the servants of Nero's household, are all examples that go to prove it.

You may say, If you were so holy, you would be unlike other people. I answer, I know it well: it is just what I want you to be. Christ's true servants always were unlike the world around them,—a separate nation, a peculiar people; and you must be so too, if you would be saved.

You may say, At this rate very few will be saved. I answer, I know it: Jesus said so eighteen hundred years ago. Few will be saved, because few will take the trouble to seek salvation. Men will not deny themselves the pleasures of sin and their own way for a season; for this they turn their backs on an inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away. "Ye will not come to Me," says Jesus, "that ye might have life" (John 5:40).

You may say, These are hard sayings: the way is very narrow. I answer, I know it: Jesus said so eighteen hundred years ago. He always said that men must take up the cross daily, that they must be ready to cut off hand or foot, if they would be His disciples. It is in religion as it is in other things, "There are no gains without pains." That which costs nothing is worth nothing.

Reader, whatever you may think fit to say, you must be holy if you would see the Lord. Where is your Christianity if you are not? Show it to me without holiness, if you can. You must not merely have a Christian name and Christian knowledge, you must have a Christian character also: you must be a saint on earth, if ever you mean to be a saint in heaven. God has said it, and He will not go back,—"Without holiness no man shall see the Lord." "The Pope's calendar," says Jenken, "only makes saints of the dead, but Scripture requires sanctity in the living." "Let not men deceive themselves," says Owen, "sanctification is a qualification indispensably necessary—unto those who will be under the conduct of the Lord Jesus unto salvation: He leads none to heaven but whom He sanctifies on the earth. This living Head will not admit of dead members."

Surely you will not wonder that Scripture says, "Ye must be born again" (John 3:7). Surely it is clear as noon-day that many of you need a complete change, —new hearts, new natures,—if ever you are to be saved. Old things must pass away, you must become new creatures. Without holiness, no man, be he who he may,—no man shall see the Lord.

Reader, consider well what I have said. Do you feel any desire to be holy? Does your conscience whisper, "I am not holy yet, but I should like to become so"? Listen to the advice I am going to give you. The Lord grant you may take it and act upon it!

Would you be holy? Would you become a new creature? Then begin with Christ. You will do just nothing till you feel your sin and weakness, and flee to Him: He is the beginning of all holiness. He is not wisdom and righteousness only to His people, but sanctification also. Men sometimes try to make themselves holy first of all, and sad work they make of it: they toil, and labour, and turn over many new leaves, and make many changes, and yet, like the woman with the issue of blood before she came to Christ, they feel nothing bettered, but rather worse. They run in vain, and labour in vain: and little wonder, for they are beginning at the wrong end. They are building up a wall of sand: their work runs down as fast as they throw it up. They are baling water out of a leaky vessel; the leak gains on them; not they on the leak. Other foundation of holiness can no man lay than that which Paul laid, even Christ Jesus. Without Christ we can do nothing. It is a strong but true saying of Traill's, "Wisdom out of Christ is damning folly; righteousness out of Christ is guilt and condemnation; sanctification out of Christ is filth and sin; redemption out of Christ is bondage and slavery."

Would you be holy: Would you be partakers of the Divine nature? Then go to Christ. Wait for nothing: wait for nobody: linger not. Think not to make you yourself ready: go, and say to Him, in the words of that beautiful hymn,—

"Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked, flee to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace."

There is not a brick nor a stone laid in the work of our sanctification till we go to Christ. Holiness is His special gift to His believing people; holiness is the work He carries on in their hearts, by the Spirit whom He puts within them. He is appointed a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance as well as remission of sins: to as many as receive Him He gives power to become sons of God. Holiness comes not of blood,—parents cannot give it to their children; nor yet of the will of the flesh,—man cannot produce it in himself; nor yet of the will of man, —ministers cannot give it you by baptism. Holiness comes from Christ. It is the result of vital union with Him: it is the fruit of being a living branch of the true vine. Go then to Christ, and say, "Lord, not only save me from the guilt of sin, but send the Spirit, whom Thou didst promise, and save me from its power. Make me holy. Teach me to do Thy will."

Would you continue holy, when you have once been made so? Then abide in Christ. He says Himself, "Abide in Me, and I in you. He that abideth in Me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit" (John 15:4, 5).

He is the Physician to whom You must daily go, if you would keep well; He is the Manna which you must daily eat, and the Rock of which you must daily drink. His arm is the arm on which you must daily lean, as you come up out of the wilderness of this world. You must not only be rooted, you must also be built up in Him.

Reader, may you and I know these things by experience, and not by hearsay only! May we all feel the importance of holiness, far more than we have ever done yet! May our years he holy years with our souls, and then I know they will be happy ones! But this I say once more, "We must be holy."

Word of God Speak - Mercy Me

May I loose myself

If you seek to impress people, you create an expectation you cannot live up to. But if you lay down you life and point to Christ boasting only in Him, then you are pointing to the place where true confidence can be given.

What I would like to be

This is a man that understands that he does not uphold himself or has anything to boast in, but boasts in and depends only in Christ.

Enough - Chris Tomlin

". . . who is more to you than seven sons"

A letter from the guys at my church to the girls at my church for valentines:

Women Theologians

Ladies,

As men, we can read the passages such as 1Timothy 2:9-15 or Corinthians 14:33-38 and see in them only restrictions on women. We can react and say, “You have to obey this rule and this restriction”. Although there is a reason for these verses, and we must take them very seriously, if this is our attitude we don’t understand these verses. These verses are not there to give us an attitude of “placing restrictions on women”; these verses instead challenge us as men to lead and honor the women around us.

We can look at the scriptures and see God’s heart for women. A Godly woman is described with eloquence and dignity throughout. We have women like Sarah, Ruth, and Esther, and many more who stand out in the history of Israel. We watch and listen as Jesus treats women with honor. They were always near ministering to him, and he to them. Paul walked with the women around him, relying on the gifts that God had given them. And there is so much more, but for times sake, I am barely even touching the surface of how the scripture describes the beauty of women. My point is I don’t believe that the majority of heroes of the faith should be men. As we see these scriptures opened up and obeyed we will see the churches littered with the heroines of the faith. There is no place for any thought that women have less to offer. The Bible screams against this and rebukes any man who contemplates this. It is not God’s heart to put restrictions on women. In the scriptures, He has provided an amazing protection of the beauty and the expressiveness that only a woman can provide. It is God’s heart for a woman to bloom, under the nourishment and protection of His word.

Our pastor has recently been talking about how Mary’s act of anointing Jesus before His death was a powerful and poignant act. In that act, one women out-theologized all the many men that were in the room. If anyone thinks because a women cannot preach or teach, she has less expression of theology they are wrong. Christ made it clear, what this woman had done would be told everywhere the Gospel was preached. By her act she has challenged both men and women over the ages wherever the Gospel has been preached. Jesus had no intention to limit this woman’s expression of theology . . . nor do the scriptures.

As men, God has called us to lead in the church, but we’d be a fool if we thought we were more than what we are, fellow servants in the Lord, co-laborers in the gospel of God’s grace, with no more influence and strength then the women around us. What Mary did was powerful and meaningful. And she out shone the men around her. A woman can express theology and influence the direction of the church in a way that a man could never do. The church cannot be all God has called it to be without the women, co-laboring with the men.

God has called us men to lead, but He has also called us to honor and cherish the women in our lives. Peter tells husbands that if they do not honor and value their wives, their prayers will not be heard. I don’t believe this just applies to a husband and a wife. If we as men do not honor and cherish the women in our church, we are in danger of having our prayers not heard. A woman has a desire to be captivating and God has left her with a means for that desire to be filled. A woman shouldn’t have to force herself on us to show her theological insight. No, instead as men, we should treat women as captivating and valued. We should seek out what their hearts and what their ideas are. We should be in awe of the insight that God has given women.

Sisters, as your brothers, we want to learn how to encourage you to express theology in the fullness of being a woman and to treat you with the eloquence and dignity that the scriptures dictate. We want you to feel valued and cherished. We want to fight for you with our prayers and actions. Not by convention; by loving you like Jesus, laying our lives down, letting our lives point to one who is truly Romantic, your Savior and Lord. May we be stripped away, so that you will see Jesus. Be patient, we still have a lot to learn, but we pursuing to learn more and grow together through God’s stunning grace in becoming men who treat you with honor, and with God’s help we will. He will grant what He commands . . . by grace alone.



May Our Eyes Always Be Upon Jesus
(written by Landon Lewis)
May our eyes always be upon Jesus,
The founder and perfecter of our faith,
So that we may not grow weary or faint
As we attempt each day to run the race.

Do not grant our eyes the chance to wander
Lest we will give in to the temptation
To stop and marvel at our endurance
Or cringe at our lack of motivation.

Direct our eyes to the one who came down
And though tempted to quit, ran for His church
In perfect, perpetual righteousness
And endured the cross to finish the work.

As our eyes behold your Son’s bloody stripes
May we rest in His race and perfect time
Because it is His hands that will carry us
And His legs that have crossed the finish line.

May God cultivate and bring your heart to full bloom,
Your brothers

“Beauty in my arms”

I watch as the leaves flew up;
I smiled and chased the flury,
Following the path of disheveled leaves.
In a moment, all fell still . . . silence. . .
There she was waiting,
I held her in my arms and we danced . . .

And now I look into her eyes,
She just smiled at me.
How could I have imagined how much our love would grow,
And how much more beautiful she would become?
She is in the distance helping a child,
But we are saying so much to each other without words.
We dance together, as we serve the Lord,
And now when I hold her in my arms . . . it is more.

Christians are not morally superior than non-Christians

"The Gospel is the only faith system I know that leads you to expect that people who don't believe like you believe will be better than you. What!? Yes! Because the Gospel says your not saved because your wise; your not saved because your good; your not saved because your virtuous; your not saved because your performing the truth. You are saved because Jesus performs the truth. And you can't get a salvation unless you admit that you are not any better than anyone else, that you are a sinner and that you need grace. And therefore the Gospel leads you to expect that the people who don't agree with you could easily be and usually are better people than you, wiser, nicer, more disciplined, more self controlled, kinder, less likely to fly off the handle; and they are. Every other system of thought leads you to believe that you will be better than the people who do not believe the right things, but the Gospel says if you believe the Gospel you are likely to see other people who don't believe the Gospel better than you. In other words, the Gospel humbles you before the people who don't agree with you. Humbles you! I don't know of any other system that would do that."

--Timothy Keller
Exclusivity of Christianity

A godly husband who can find?

To my sister,

What are you looking for in a husband? My beloved sister, stop and hear this counsel from a godly mother. These words were written to her son, but this advice is also for the heart of a woman as she contemplates on what to look for in a husband. She teaches her son, "Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy Kings." (Proverbs 31) In seeking a husband, there are many things that via for our attraction in the opposite sex, whether it is physical, emotional, social, or financial, but the counsel of the scriptures is to not give your heart to these superficial things. My sister, it is my desire that you protect your heart and your way from being led astray by these things that can so easily destroy and ravage your heart. “Keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flow the springs of life.”

Come close and listen, to the wisdom and counsel of a godly mother, as she speaks to her son in love. She advises her son to find a godly woman in whom he can trust. "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain." Beloved sister, find a man you can trust, who will lead you and your family in the Lord. Find a man you know your heart is safe with. This is surpasses all and will strengthen your heart as a woman. Find a man who will cherish you, a man who seeks your good, in the Lord, even when it hurts. He is not afraid to make a stand on what is good.

I just watched a movie I received during Christmas. And there was a scene where the daughter was talking with her mother about romance. and her godly mother told her, "Do not despise meager beginnings." My sister, many of us men are still learning what it means to lead. We definitely are not perfect. But if you find a man who is devoted to the Lord and devoted to honoring you and loving you and leading his family, the Lord will give him the strength to be good husband. If his foundation is firmly planted in the Lord and scripture, then the house will stand. I have found that that the Lord enables what He commands and will be there close, walking beside a man like this. And that is why you can give your heart to him, because God is near. Find a man attractive, because God is near him.

My sister, you should not have to question the integrity of man’s heart. A godly man will labor to be a man you can trust in his actions and words. His character will be one that does not shy away from accountability, but instead welcomes it. He is a man who is proven. And he does not seek his own gain, but seeks to lead under the headship of Christ. This is a man, who understands that he does not uphold himself or has anything to boast in, but boasts in and depends only in Christ. His heart is the Lord's, first and only.

Here is another quote from the movie I just saw; the mother says, “Just remember, that God has written His own story for you. And it is not the feelings of your heart that it should be based upon, but rather the thoughts of your heart that you need to hear, . . . that tells you that this man will care for you no matter what, that he is someone who will kiss you when you are old and gray, tend to you when you are sick, honor you. . . . a man like that is as rare as a diamond in the rough.”

Beloved sister, don't go for the guy with a lot flair or for the vain things that pull at your heart and attractions, go for the man who has a strong foundation, a man whom you can trust.

In love,
Your brother

Lord, move or move me

Death

"Death". . . When we use this word to describe spiritual death, I used to feel that the word "death" used here was symbolic, a way of describing spiritual separation from God and Hell. This however is death. It is death in the truest sense of the word. We are dead, without Christ. This should sink into our hearts. This is what death means! When we use the word "death" to refer to physical death, it is only symbolic of what death is. Physical death is a means of giving us a glimpse into what true death really is.

Lacrae - "Praying for you"

It takes a community to know someone

"In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles [Williams] is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's [Tolkien's] reaction to a specifically Charles joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him "to myself" now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald . . . In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious "nearness by resemblance" to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each of us has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying "Holy, Holy, Holy" to one another (Isaiah 6:3). The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have."

--C.S. Lewis

Someone mentioned that I had been writing a lot about Courtship, thinking that it something that was on my mind a lot right now. Its more of the case that I have been in conversations or had someone ask me a question.

hurt by others

Sometimes when we are hurt by others, even if we have done nothing wrong, we discover that the person that needs to change is ourselves.

Quote by Elizabeth Eliot

"If we imagine that happiness is to be found by furious pursuit, we will end up in a rage at the unsatisfying results. If, on the other hand, we set ourselves to pursue the wise and loving and holy will of our Heavenly Father, we will find that happiness comes - quietly, in unexpected ways, and suprisingly often, as the by-product of sacrifice."

--Elizabeth Eliot

Can there be Friendship after Courtship

Just a quick note, I don't feel like I have written this very well. I hope to someday come back and rewrite it and better explain. I have decided to leave it though, because it is something that does need to be heard, and I hope people will hear the meat of this message.



The scripture exhorts us to treat each other as brothers and sisters and to encourage each other in the Lord. The scripture does not qualify this. In fact, we are called to grow in love. I believe when a courtship ends a friendship continues and grows. It does not end. Courtship is a time of determining God’s will for marriage between a woman and a man, however if that courtship ends, the pursuit of God’s will still continues. And it is God’s will that we continue to treat each other as brothers and sisters in the Lord, honoring each other and growing in love.

I have often been told that after a courting relationship that you can’t be friends. I don’t believe this. It contradicts the scriptures encouragement to grow in love. God has called us to a greater love than the world and a greater wisdom then the world’s. I think it is sad, how couples can treat each other after breaking up. I want to learn how to love my sister, in those situations. Why should I settle for less, knowing that God is with me? Listen, I know this is hard. I really do, I struggle as anyone else does. God’s way is often not always the easy way, but the way faith and trust. But it is always the better way. This requires learning to love with agape love. And agape love is something I don’t think I will ever regret. We could make excuses and say, “Yeh, but. . .what about this” I would say, “Yeh, but we only have this life as an opportunity to live these things out, to show God’s glory and to love each other in these situations. Let us be committed to press in and love each other with an agape love.” I don’t want to waste my life saying, "Yeh, but . . . ". Instead, I want to walk by faith, loving my brothers and sisters. I think we often run away, instead of standing in faith and love, committing our relationships to the Lord and laying our hearts and our relationships at His feet.

I came across this a few years ago:

“Properly define success. As Joshua Harris points out in his article, a courtship that leads a couple to engagement and marriage is not necessarily any more successful than a courtship that leaves the couple wiser but still single. Remember that the purpose of courtship is to seek God's will, not merely to get married. For this reason, a courtship God does not lead to marriage may not be a tragedy at all, and the church must be careful not to react as if it were. Singles whose courtships have ended short of engagement inevitably suffer disappointment and pain. When your heart is drawn toward romance, there is no way to render that relationship totally free of risk. But, because courtship balances passionate feelings with wisdom and discretion, singles can often withdraw from a courtship with hearts that have been bruised but not seriously wounded.

Few events can help a church grasp the real meaning of courtship better than one that ends without a proposal, but full of grace. What a witness these trying situations can be to a watching world! When the church is able to see God's goodness in these testimonies as clearly as it does in stories of dreamy proposals and teary weddings, it demonstrates a solid grasp of what successful courtship is all about.”

God is glorified when we chose to walk by faith and to love each other with an agape love. This is a witness to the world of the power of God. And this is a witness to ourselves that He is good in all things. Continuing a friendship after courtship will look different for different people, but the idea of continuing to grow in friendship and in love should always be there. If your heart is the Lord’s and you have surrendered the relationship to the Lord, He will lead you. He is a good shepherd. He is a good Father. He leads us perfectly, even when we are not perfect.

Continuing a friendship after a courtship does take a lot of maturity and faith. Relationships take a lot of work and learning to communicate, even without a courtship. It also takes a lot of prayer, reading the word, and Godly counsel. It’s work. I haven’t read it yet, but I have heard of a book called “Relationships, a mess worth making”. I completely believe this. I think after ending a courtship, it’s hard and it is difficult to remain and to grow in friendship. I think because it is difficult, people often choose to shut off their hearts, instead of going through a difficult period of readjusting to friendship. This takes agape love, a choosing to love, even in the hardships, and a choosing to trust God when your heart is being torn. But it is a mess worth making. It is so worth it – learning to love others as God intended us to love.

I said that I know it is hard. I know this from experience. I had just asked a girl, if I could pursue her in marriage. We had courted and returned to friendship for a year at the time and had had a healthy friendship for years (only a small part of that was courting). She said, “No”. It hurt. But God had spoken clearly, that He had called me to continue to love her as a friend. I knew this would be difficult, because the more I got to know her the more I wanted to pursue her. But I knew that this was God’s will for me, and I said “Yes”, trusting the Lord that he would hold my heart. So I gave my heart to the Lord, and chose to love her as a friend. And as I have surrendered my heart to the Lord, he has given me an agape love for her and the strength to obey Him and He has protected my heart as well. I can say that in obeying God and in surrendering my heart to Him, God is using this to teach me to love others in a deeper way. I am learning to love beyond the emotions. And I am thankful for the work God is doing in my heart. It has given me a deeper strength and determination to love others. I still have a lot to learn, but taking that step of believing God’s word, that he has called me to love, even when it is hard, has taught me so much. He has commanded me to love her as my sister, and I don’t regret that. Agape love is not something you regret.

Choosing to love and continuing to be a friend, doesn’t mean that the other person will want to continue to be a friend. They may only want a casual friendship of just being friends because your supposed to be, but without any real substance. They may back off, they may stop trusting in the friendship you once had. They may stop valuing you or respecting you. They may push you away. We live in a fallen world and no matter how much you honor someone and love them with agape love; they may not want to continue to grow in friendship. Don’t let your heart get bitter. And don't be quick to assume, the person may not even realize what they are doing. They may just be hurt. Or it just may be that at this time your not communicating very well. Sometimes when someone has wronged you it is best to be patient and continue to believe in them. Continue to honor them as a friend and to encourage them in the Lord. The scripture says that love is patient, not self seeking.

I have been on the other end, too; where I have had to say “no” to others who liked me. For me when a girl likes me, it is an honor. I feel blessed, because who am I that a girl would consider me worthy of being considered as someone she might marry. To me that is just amazing. So I don’t understand why or how someone could just push someone away that just honored them in this way. That to me is ridiculous. Yes, you want to protect their hearts, but pushing them away is not protecting their hearts. It’s treating them like their dirt. It’s disobeying God’s command to treat them as sisters. If a girl comes to me and lets me know that she likes me, one of the things that I try to establish with them is that, even though I have to say, “no”, I still deeply value them as a friend, and I am not going to treat them different just because I just found out that they liked me. I want to communicate to them the security that God has established in our sister-brother relationship. I let them know that to me it is not awkward and they don’t have to feel awkward around me. They are my friend and my sister and that has not changed. In these situations it is important that I am sensitive to what she is feeling and where she is at. I need to find out how I can protect her heart and encourage her as a friend and a brother. She may say, you know, when you do this it really draws out my heart, please, don't do that. And that is totally, ok. It may be that they need some time away, and that’s ok, too, just let them know that their value to you has not changed and you will their as a brother and friend when they are ready. The key is learning how to respond in a way that encourages the other person in love and looks to their interests and grows the friendship and your relationship as brothers and sisters. I can say this. I am thankful for the girls who have liked me and have decided to continue to be friends with me. I can’t imagine not being friends with them. They are my friends and my honored sisters.

Does God have a great purpose for your life? pt 2

"In you, O LORD, do I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame;"

I wrote in the last post, that sometimes what God has for us is not what the world would call great. What God may have for us may even be mundane. This does not mean that God is mundane in the way He treats us or loves us or uses us. It just means that instead of striving to be great, we commit our lives to His faithfulness, trusting that He will bring about His purposes whether in the mundane or not so mundane. One of the things great about God is that He is always great, even in the things this world may call not so great. His wisdom is not the wisdom of the world. So press into Christ with all you might, knowing that He is faithful, and He is great, and His purposes for your life are our in His faithful hands.

Psalm 37:3,4 "Commit your way to the LORD, trust in him and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday."

1 Corinthians 12:12

12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

Does God have a great purpose for your life?

A friend of mine made this statement last night, "God did not tell us to seek a purpose for our life, that is something we have made up . . ." He had gone through a difficult time and fell into a deep depression because he was trying to find the purpose that God had in his life and couldn't find any. When he looked at his life, he felt like everything he touched failed. After going through a long depression, he started asking God, "What is important to you?". He came to realize that "None of this stuff is about us anyways".


It is not about us. It is not about having a great purpose in life. It is not about our purpose at all, it is about His. And He can either choose to do that in the mundane or He can choose to do that in what the world or the church calls great. We are God's handiwork. We are the clay and He is the potter, and He forms the clay as He wishes, for His purposes alone.

Running from the pain

Official first blog of the year :)

This year or so has been a year of learning that you can't run away from pain. The other day, I had something really tough happen to me that ripped my heart out. I don't know if it will ever get repaired. I haven't even figured out how to talk about it. I don't know that I want to. But right after that incident, I got hit with a ton of bricks. I went and sat in a place where the tv was turned on. On the show, there was a young child, whose parents had died violently. With his parents gone, he now had the responsibility of looking after his three younger siblings. He would often go without just so that they could eat. I just wanted to weep. How does a heart respond to that? How can a heart take it? I cried out to God, I want to be there, but I don't know if my heart can take it. I can't, I can't even take my own pain. But I think life is more than trying to be able to handle it. I don't know that we are always supposed to be able to handle it. Am I going to turn away my heart just because I can't sleep at night? No, I am going to press into the firm foundation that is Christ and I take the beating and weather the storm. By God's grace I will not run. I believe in life I can either protect my hear in relationships, situations, and hardships, or I can love. Love doesn't protect itself from pain, it loves even in the pain. It does not run away.

2 Corinthians 4:7-12
1 Corinthians 1:8-10
1 Corinthians 13
Hebrews 12:28-29
Luke 4:18,19

Britt Nicole - Believe

Words on Evangelism from an unbeliever

Question: Can men and women have healthy friendships?

Question: Can men and women have healthy friendships?

The scripture calls women and men into a relationship with each other under Christ. Paul told us to treat the younger women as sisters and the older women as mothers. This tells me that there ought to be healthy relationships between women and men and that there is a place for this. We also see that both Paul and Jesus had healthy relationships with women. I think one of our faults that hinders this is that our focus in getting to know others from the opposite sex is easily set on pursuing a spouse. In our culture, our relationships with the opposite sex are often associated with finding a spouse. I don’t believe this is Biblical. My relationships with other women should be focused on treating them as sisters and mothers and fellow servants in the Lord. My focus should be learning how to encourage and build them up in the Lord, not finding a spouse. My attitude should be how can I serve and put others above myself. When I meet other women my focus should not be looking for a wife. God is sufficient to let us know when it is time to pursue. I do not believe we seek a wife by social events. I believe we seek wife, by prayer, feeding on God’s word, and walking in the counsel with other men (and this is an active thing, but it is not the focus of our relationships with others). I know for myself I do not have enough wisdom to figure out who I should marry and if I am seeking a wife through social events or friendships, I will get all messed up in my emotions. But when I seek a wife on my knees and in God’s word and through godly counsel, there is an awesome assurance, certainty, and security. The steps I take to pursue a wife become firm. In my relationship with other women my pursuit is to point them to Christ and to encourage them in the Lord, not to me. I think that the line is that we treat others as sisters and mothers, not in the sense that I can do anything I can do with my own natural sisters or mother, but in the sense that I am protecting a healthy and secure relationship with proper boundaries. Instead of drawing their heart toward me, I am encouraging them in the Lord. This takes work, maturity, and learning how to communicate. And this does mean that some lines will be drawn on how you treat other women, but this does not mean that there can’t be healthy friendships. As for as how this looks practically, some of this stuff is still new to me, and I am still learning.

Don’t be afraid to pursue a woman

Here is a link on some of my thoughts on pursuing a wife: Courting